My Classroom, the Dadaist Theater

Today was out of control, non-stop silly.

I've been very hoarse, so my student teacher has taken over teaching a little early so I don't fuck up my voice any further. So this is the rundown of today:

1. Within 5 minutes of the kiddos coming into the classroom, one of my Special Super Sweethearts, Suly, started singing a song I didn't recognize about killing all the teachers. I could tell it was more something stuck in her head rather than any actual hostility or naughtiness. Well, perhaps some naughtiness. Anyway, she had the trashcan next to her seat, so I walked over, casually picked up both her feet, and deposited them in the trashcan. She immediately quit singing and nearly fell out of her chair laughing.

2. My student teacher was picking on me, telling the kids that they should pester me all day because I can't talk back. So I picked up the conduct sheet and added the student teacher's name to it and a list of her offenses. Mute teacher strikes back!

3. Student teacher was complaining about something or other while her back was to me. My computer monitor is hooked up to a tv screen above my desk. A few moments with google image search, and I put the crybaby image on this post on my screen. I pointed at baby, then at student teacher. Hilarity ensued. I suspect she will attempt retribution. I'm ready.

4. There was a turtle in the classroom. Or rather, there was not a turtle. I refuse to acknowledge this creature's existence. The turtle IS. NOT. THERE.

5. Something else that is not there: food in my classroom. Our lunchtime is ridiculously early, so everyone is hungry by the afternoon. I eat, they eat, I ignore it until they don't pick up their trash. So now and then they will tattle on each other for eating (usually when they want what the other person is eating) and I just look at them blankly and change the subject.

I can't believe how happy they were to see me after the break. I already knew I'd be happy to see them. And I was.